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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438568">With This Will</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KooraX/pseuds/KooraX'>KooraX</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>With Hope She Will [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Katekyou Hitman Reborn!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Author Feeds On Reviews, Butterfly Effect, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not me kay? Its my character mkay?, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, SI/OC, Self Insert - Character - Freeform, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tsu-nii Loves His Sister, just in case, oc-insert</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:01:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KooraX/pseuds/KooraX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Honoka wants to be better.</p><p> </p><p>Better than the woman who she was.</p><p> </p><p>She got a second chance in life after all.</p><p> </p><p>(In another world, Sawada Tsunayoshi activates his flame much later with the dubious help of the World's Greatest Hitman.</p><p> </p><p>In this, the seal slowly erodes away as he watches over his sister.)</p><p> </p><p>SI/OC in the KHR world as the youngest Sawada.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sawada Iemitsu/Sawada Nana, Sawada Tsunayoshi &amp; Original Female Character(s), Sawada Tsunayoshi &amp; Original Sawada Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>With Hope She Will [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A Collection of Beloved Inserts, Amazing OFC fanfiction, Reincarnation and Transmigration, oc self insertSI</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She remembered it when her flame first manifested.</p><p> </p><p>It was when she saw her brother's messy state, with scratches and smudged blood covering his arms and knees. The first time the bullying turned physical and it seemed to hurt her more than him. Her brother looked at her with worry, for her and not feeling anything for himself.</p><p> </p><p>Her brother smiled at her with glassy eyes while wincing at the pain he felt. She caught the slight tremble of her brother's limb that he couldn't hide well enough. A seven years old boy smiling to keep his six years old sister from being worried. When he should be crying from this.</p><p> </p><p>Her brother had always been like this. Others before him, Kaa-san before him, her before <em>him.</em></p><p> </p><p>Her mind blanked for a second and thought, a feeling that she very rarely, almost never felt before, started to form in her mind,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's unfair, why should he experience this? Even though he didn't do anything wrong! Why him why! Its unfair itsunfair unfair<strong>unfAIR!ITS UNFAIR!</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Then, <em>then the flame burst out.</em></p><p> </p><p>Everything changed after that.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>Beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>That was the first thing that came into her mind as she gazed at the flickering flame. The beautiful golden-azure flame, enveloping her palms as it slowly but surely crawled up her arms.</p><p> </p><p>The flame burned and burned but she saw no smoke or felt any pain from the heat.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, as if it was a flame of a fireplace, a flame to give warmth. To give comfort, getting rid of the chill from the winter.</p><p> </p><p>It felt like she was being hugged, wrapped around a blanket, as if it was a hug from a father, mother, brother, a comforting hug.</p><p> </p><p>It felt like it was the first time she felt warmth, like the first warmth after a long trudge in the snowstorm.</p><p> </p><p>The hiss and crackle she heard from the flame sounded like a croon instead of what it should be. Whispering, telling her to calm down, that she was safe, that it was okay, and it told her.</p><p> </p><p>To remember.</p><p> </p><p>And she did.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>She was not anything in her past life.</p><p> </p><p>By no means was she stupid or anything. She was weird. Her family, parents knew. It was fuzzy but she could still vaguely remember the worried muttering of her parents. Asking what was wrong with her, whether should they look for a specialist. Asking themself had they done wrong. </p><p> </p><p>She felt guilty. She knew it wasn't their fault, that it was her that was different. So she tried. Tried to be normal, it was what they wanted after all. But she might have done something wrong along the way.</p><p> </p><p>She didn't mind the fact that no one paid much attention to her. She did it deliberately after all. Her parents, the previous one, used to dote on when she was a child. She smiled when she should, cry because it was normal, did because she must. The worried muttering ceased and her parents soon forgot the short phase of her being 'not normal', 'different'. She became what they wanted, a <em>normal</em> child.</p><p> </p><p>Although it changed the moment her younger sibling was born.</p><p> </p><p>Normal meant boring, boring meant that she wasn't interesting.</p><p> </p><p>She was their child, that was the reason for their doting. That was the thing, even though she tried, she was only their child, not their ideal child. Not like her little sister.</p><p> </p><p>While she preferred to gaze at the sky, just lying around and idly spent the day, her sister was the bubbly princess, all smiles and giggles at anything and everything.</p><p> </p><p>Everything she wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>She tried but it must have not been enough. She knew they didn't know but subconsciously? they realized it was fake.</p><p> </p><p>If her parents were the king and queen, regardless of the older and younger concept, her sister was the crown princess, and she was the spare.</p><p> </p><p>Loved but not dear.</p><p> </p><p>Cared but not important.</p><p> </p><p><em>is </em>there, not<em> should</em> be there.</p><p> </p><p>She was not abused, she was loved, just not as much as her sister. She didn't mind it much though. It was her fault after all, for not being the ideal child they wanted.</p><p> </p><p>She knew that she was weird, as any child would cry at the unfairness and would try to get attention, but she didn't and knew that people would find that it was weird. She was wrong and she didn't understand what was wrong about her. It had been always been like that since the start.</p><p> </p><p>She didn't have any drive to anything. Like how she acted for her parents, she did it because she must. Because it would be better.</p><p> </p><p>For her entire past life, she had just been living following the wave. It was somewhat boring, but she was somewhat satisfied. It was her life after all.</p><p> </p><p>She was satisfied and she didn't want people to meddle in how she lived her life. It wasn't easy though. She was weird, she knew that even as a child, what she was doing was considered "wrong". She didn't care what people thought of her, she was her own person and they have no right to tell her what to do or what she should. But, it was still what she thought. People would want to meddle in how she lived. </p><p> </p><p>She feared almost nothing, but that? The fear of people would try to dictate how she should live? How she should actually feel? Trying to "help" her because they thought they were right? That was her greatest fear.</p><p> </p><p>So she started to have a habit. She observed. She tried to observe everything.</p><p> </p><p>Why do they do that?</p><p> </p><p>Why do they feel that?</p><p> </p><p>Why was it wrong?</p><p> </p><p>Why should she feel that way?</p><p> </p><p>Why?</p><p> </p><p>Why-?</p><p> </p><p>Why and why she asked herself.</p><p> </p><p>She observed and slowly she built a mask. A mask of "normal", of "uninteresting". A mask that made people ignore her. Because if they ignore her they wouldn't bother her and she could live her life as it is. The mask had cracked a few times, but people would forget. Sometimes quickly as they thought that it must have been a trick of their mind and sometimes through a few incidents that were more interesting than her.</p><p> </p><p>So she lived, grew up, lived, and died just like that. But as she said, she was satisfied. Even if she did die young, she had decided to follow the wave. If she died, then she died because she chose it.</p><p> </p><p>She chose to live as what others considered <em>normal</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She realized that in the end, they ended up dictating how she should live too. She had lost her way, lost on how she should have lived, lost to the people that she thought should not dictate how she should live.</p><p> </p><p>But then she thought.</p><p> </p><p>It's not like it mattered in the end.</p><p> </p><p>Right?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Yet, yet when she looked at her hands( <em>hands that should be larger than this but it should be this size </em>) through the flame that surrounded her, enveloping it and didn't understand <em>why</em>. The twin colored flame that seemed to fight to be the victor, to be the only one burning. She expected to feel nothing, to feel apathy and something was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Because she didn't feel what she should feel and it was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Why was she feeling <em>warmth</em>?</p><p> </p><p>Why was she feeling <em>alive</em>?</p><p> </p><p>Why was she feeling what she had always <em>wanted</em> to feel but had never been able to?</p><p> </p><p>Why was she feeling <em>happy</em>?</p><p> </p><p>Like something was hugging her and telling her it's <em>okay</em>?</p><p> </p><p>Soothing her, further breaking the mask that had been there, telling her to stop wearing the mask(<em> something that should not be there in the first place</em> ).</p><p> </p><p>That it's okay to not understand, that she can take her time, that it's <em>okay</em>.</p><p> </p><p>It made her( <em>that woman </em>) feel something.</p><p> </p><p>She knew she was wrong. She knew something had always been missing from her( <em>that woman</em> ).</p><p> </p><p>The flame erased those thoughts. The flame enveloped her small form, covering her, protecting her. In the warmth and assurance, the tears she didn't realize had accumulated and started to drop. Droplets of her tears falling and disappearing as it the flame flickers.</p><p> </p><p>As she cried, blankly staring at the tears, she felt like wishes that she didn't know she had were being fulfilled and that she was finally crying for the unfairness she should had felt.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>( <em>In the middle of it, the entity of</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>her, the child</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> and she, the woman</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> started to separate </em>)</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>For a moment she had forgotten about her brother. Her injured brother who tried to tell her not to worry and the feeling of unfairness that led to her realization. She snapped her head up from gazing at the beautiful flame that turned completely golden when she remembered about her brother's injuries.</p><p> </p><p>Her brother was gazing at her with a shocked expression. Flickering amber eyes( <em>the color that should have been caramel brown )</em> gazed at her with shock and worry in it. He took a step toward her, hand reaching out.</p><p> </p><p>She unconsciously followed his action, with teary eyes she reached her hands out trying to touch him, to ground her to the present. The want to feel something physical so overwhelming that the tears increased.</p><p> </p><p>But she didn't reach him.</p><p> </p><p>Specks of black appeared, it hindered her sight as she felt both hot and cold at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes slowly closed as she impacted the ground.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Honoka!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her brother's anguished cry of her name was the last thing she heard before all turned dark.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Honoka slept, dreaming of the distant memories of <strong>her</strong>. The woman she was and no longer is. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>The family the woman had, the few friends she had to perfect her mask, what she did, the </em> <em>way she lived, and the emptiness.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The emptiness that had always accompanied her before and after her death, the emptiness that somehow disappeared as soon as the flame appeared.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her flame. Something that is hers only. The beautiful flame that she couldn't understand.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her will.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The resolves that took form in her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But more importantly, she dreamt.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And she learned, from the woman's mistake.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So that she could be better.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So that she could--</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Waking up, Honoka felt everything was clearer. She knew more, saw more, and understood more. The sunrise that she saw from the window, the light from it that shone against her face, the vague warmth that felt much like the flame in her.</p><p> </p><p>The blurriness that had been there disappeared with no trace. The muddled feeling that hindered her mind, like a stain on glass was wiped away.</p><p> </p><p>Instead in it place was the exact opposite of it, a feeling of clarity that whispered to her. A barely heard voice that made her feel safe and warm. A voice that would tell her what to do like i-</p><p> </p><p>She blinked her eyes, feeling it slightly wet.</p><p> </p><p>She raised her body shakily, feeling the comforter fell to her waist. She gazed at her hands hoping that the flame would appear again. She clenched and unclenched them, trying to grasp the warmth, the core of flame in her chest. But no matter how long she sat there hoping and hoping, something she was learning to do, it didn't appear.</p><p> </p><p>"Wuu... .h.."</p><p> </p><p>She let out a high-pitched raspy sound, similar to a canine whimper, feeling disappointment deep in her chest. Honoka let her upper body fall back harshly against the bed, feeling regret as soon as the room spun due to the reckless movement. </p><p> </p><p>She fell asleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Honoka woke up again when the sun was bright up in the sky. The comforter covered her entire body, not only her lower body when she woke up before. Kaa-san or Tsu-nii must have entered the room to check on her.</p><p> </p><p>She got off the bed and fell with a loud thump as soon her legs buckled, unable to withstand her weight.</p><p> </p><p>She winced at the soreness and pain that she felt. Feeling pain on her forehead when she accidentally slammed it against the floor. She shakily sat up, her back against the bed. Looking to the side, she spotted a washbasin on top of the drawer beside her bed.</p><p> </p><p>Honoka concluded that she had a pretty bad fever. The washbasin and the soreness proof it.</p><p> </p><p>But...</p><p> </p><p>she looked toward the bed and find that there was no towel too. She tilted her head confused. Leaning against the bed and grasping the edges of the bed she practically toddled toward the drawer. Peering into the washbasin she found that yes, it was filled.</p><p> </p><p>Questions filled her mind as soon as she saw it.</p><p> </p><p>Why would you place a water-filled washbasin inside a sick child's room? Did they want to make sure that the air is not dry? Then shouldn't a glass of water should be sufficient? Why would they want to make sure that the air is not dry either way?</p><p> </p><p>She got the answer just as the door slammed open.</p><p> </p><p>Unless the person who brought was clumsy and forgot to bring the towel.</p><p> </p><p>And well, and there was only one person in this house that was that clumsy, wasn't it?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"No-chan!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The cry was similar to the anguished one she heard before she passed out, just that it was instead filled with relief, joy, and of course worry. He had always placed her first.</p><p> </p><p>Her brother, Tsu-nii</p><p> </p><p>( <em>Sawada Tsunayoshi, Decimo of Vongola Famiglia, but she didn't know about it at that time )</em></p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A little of the siblings fluffy time and Honoka contemplates the possibility that her flames gave her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Sawada Honoka and the woman of the past are different. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Honoka was the reincarnation of the woman. They had the same soul. The truth is if she had remembered the woman’s life from the start, there might not be the “Honoka” that had lived as a child, but just the woman of the past with a “Honoka” as her new name.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>They had the same soul, but the mere six years of the child, Honoka made things different. Honoka had been living her life as a child, a new being first before remembering the woman’s life. The similarity they had, changed the moment she started as someone new. She had already created her own personality.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>A soul that had gone through death is much weaker than a new one. The woman’s soul was ‘recycled’ and from there the child Honoka was created. A new soul for a new beginning. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Honoka should not have remembered the woman, her past life in the first place. But perhaps through luck or maybe fate, she remembered.</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p><em>In the end, It didn’t change much though.</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Honoka merely became a precarious, a slightly more mature child. A child who inherited a dead woman’s memory, someone who knew of a dead woman’s life.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To put it simply, Honoka only know the woman and was not her anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>It was the same with a movie. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Merely watching and knowing a story.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> <em>A sad story that the woman chose herself.</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>BAM</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>S</em>tartled by the sound of the door banging loudly against the wall, Honoka twisted her body in surprise. Feeling like a deer caught in red light, she could only watch on with a shocked expression as a ball of something brown and orange bowled her as if she was a bottle ball.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“No-chan!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Having her breath rushed out in such a violent manner, said ‘No-chan’ could only groan half in exasperation and half in pain. It was only thanks to lady luck that she didn’t have her head banged against the drawer like the door to the wall.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh no! No-chan! Sh- should you be up yet?! You are not breathing properly!”, the reason for her heaving, her brother, Tsunayoshi quickly scrambled off her as he pulled her up and pushed her up to the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“w-ahk!”, she tried to say something but ended up coughing instead. Feeling like swallowing sand at just trying to speak, her eyes involuntarily started to tear up, causing her to hiccup. Which, of course, did nothing but worsen her cough.</p><p> </p><p>“AAAaaaahhh!! Wha-wait! Don’t cry No-chan! Nii-chan is here!”, Honoka felt like wanting to hit her blundering brother. He shouted and tried to reassure her and while she appreciated it, it did absolutely nothing in stopping her dry coughing.</p><p> </p><p>She quickly started miming with one of her free hand for a glass of water, the other busy clutching her chest in hope that it could somehow help. Dearly hoping that he could understand her frantic gesture, Honoka could only continue coughing and hiccuping.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?? OH! Water! Okay! W-where was it?? Mama said she placed a pitc—“</p><p> </p><p>She peeked at her brother through her forcefully closed eyes with tears turning everything blurry. She could only hope that he would find it soon because any longer and she might just pass out. That would be sad, if the two times she passed out, were all because of her brother. The first wasn’t but he <em>was</em> technically the cause of her fever.</p><p> </p><p>“Found it!”, he shouted in relief.</p><p> </p><p>Honoka found something cool pressed against her chin, she quickly dipped her head lower to the angle where she could properly drink. She quickly held the glass so that it won’t accidentally splash her. Then, with her brother supporting the glass and she stabilizing it, she could feel the ‘sand’ slowly disappear.</p><p> </p><p>Finished drinking, she slowly breathed, trying to calm down. She had finally stopped coughing, but the tears still won’t stop. It was not a fun experience for a six years old child to feel like she was being suffocated while feeling that her throat was being grated. Even having a memory of someone much older won’t help.</p><p> </p><p>“...No-chan?”, her brother called quietly as she continued to hiccup, trying to stop crying but failing. He pressed her palm against her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“You still have a little fever, come one, lie down”</p><p> </p><p>He then proceeded to push her gently down and tucked her in. Perhaps feeling warm at his action, her tears subsided. She watched her brother through blurry eyes as he turned to the drawer, where the washbasin was placed.</p><p> </p><p>A few moments later, he turned back towards her, holding a folded towel. Her brother placed the damp towel on her head. Almost instantly, she felt better. She didn’t realize it before, but it seemed that her temperature was higher than it should be. Her body, mostly her face felt warm. The towel helped a lot with its coldness, it felt relaxing with it against her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps because of that, she started to feel sleepy again, even though she must have rested, more like bedridden, for a while. Her eyes started to drop as she tried hard to stay awake. Her brother was there, she wanted to stay awake and spend time with him.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, he somehow seemed to know or at least have an idea of why she was not following what her body wanted her to do.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay No-chan. Tsu-kun will be here when you wake up, so go to sleep and get better, kay?”, he said as he patted her hair.</p><p> </p><p>It was weird, that with just words she could feel so much assurance from him. She felt her want to stay awake longer starting to crumble.</p><p> </p><p>“...pr-promi..se?”, Honoka felt her say with a weak voice, the word breaking at the end.</p><p> </p><p>“Un! So rest up! Let’s play when you get better!”, her brother said cheerfully.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing it, she felt her consciousness started to disappear again. She was not this tired before, it seems that the coughing had exerted a lot of her energy that wasn’t much in the first place because of the fever.</p><p> </p><p>“..ka..y Tsu..u.-nii..i” She managed to say drowsily as she slowly drifted away again.</p><p> </p><p>‘Tsu-nii’ hummed as he settled down, sitting on the floor beside the bed. With his arms wrapped on top of the side of the bed, he rested his chin on it, watching his sister’s breathing even out and fell into a deep sleep.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Honoka was somehow amazed, she really shouldn’t, by herself. She spent days, almost a week, bedridden with a high fever that kept fluctuating up and down. According to Tsu-nii,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It was really bad! Mama won’t let me hel—I’m sorry No-chan, Tsu-kun wanted to but Mam—“</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>“Its o—ahk—kay! You’re here right now! </em> <em>So, how bad was it? I h-ahk! ahk—“</em></p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Here! Some water!”</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Kay, thanks Tsu-nii. I have no memory of the last few days... Wait, was I even up? Was I in a coma??”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“You were! Up that is! But Mama said you were too delu- delir—delirious? Yeah, delirious! You kept mumbling and all she said!”</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Apparently it was a really high fever that she couldn’t even stay up without falling asleep, or maybe fainting, in the middle of it. She didn’t eat much and even had to use the help of IV.</p><p> </p><p><em>“How high was the ten—tempe—temperature?”</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Umm... uhh.. 40 something, maybe? Tsu-kun didn’t pay much attention! Here, No-chan apples! Tsu-kun helped Mama wash it!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Ehehe, thank you Tsu-ni—wait what. 40 something?! I reac—urmphgh”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t shout! Your throat will get worse! How is the apple?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>If what Tsu-nii said was true, then the fact that she didn’t go to the hospital was weird! 40 something degrees of high fever could have given her brain damage, right?!</p><p> </p><p>It's not logical to not have her recuperate at the hospital, so it might actually not be that high or bad.</p><p> </p><p>But then...</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Nee, Tsu-nii?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Mm?”</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“I was bedridden for almost a week right? At least five days?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Uh-huh”</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Why am I not in the hospital?</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t know, don’t care! Doctors came though”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh.. Eh? Why don’t care?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Cuz... If you have to go to the hospital... it would be harder to see No-chan! Tsu-kun only got a few peek in when you are at home. When can Tsu-kun see No-chan if you did end up in the hospital?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>It started a different conversation when she asked, so she didn’t try prying anymore. Of course, she wanted to try asking Mama too. But Mama seemed tired. She had eye bags and her form was a little slumped. Her Mama! Walking around with a slumped shoulders!</p><p> </p><p>Mama who is(<em>Its a fact!</em>) the very picture of the traditional Japanese woman, a Yamato Nadeshiko! So she didn’t try much. Mama should rest.</p><p> </p><p>Mama <em>is </em>the best when she smiles with flowers and sparkles surrounding her. Not gloom and doom.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway! So, in short, Honoka was bedridden for almost a week, at least five days. She had a fever that was so high that it made her delirious, actually needed IV, had doctors coming instead of just going to the hospital, and a few other details that were not <em>that</em> important, but all in all, she was fine! She shouldn't be though. She got extra memories of a dead woman that she should <em>really</em> go over and a magic fire. She dreamt of the memories, but it was reaaaaally spotty and was fast-forwarded. Like maybe, times 5? Maybe that was why she got a fever.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Honoka was much better a few days after. She spent a day or two more resting, but after that, she could play. She was playing in the living room when she thought that <em>maybe </em>she should try again.</p><p> </p><p>Trying her magical power!</p><p> </p><p>She stood up abruptly and started pacing around the room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Maybe I’m actually a Mahou Shoujo!’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Honoka thought with starry eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Like...like sailor moon!’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Immediately, her pacing transformed into her dancing around the room trying to mimic said Bishoujo Senshi.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>‘Sailor Moon is so pretty! She has a looong beautiful sparkly blonde hair! She uses the power of the moon and, and she has a pretty cat!’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>After a few moments of dancing, she stopped it and just start pacing around the room again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Okay! Enough daydreaming! It's not I like can actually become Sailor Moon. It's only an anime after all!’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Honoka paused that line of thought when another came into mind.</p><p> </p><p><em>‘Eh...’</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>But she literally lit up in fire right? Then maybe she CAN become Sailor Moon.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Honoka halted her thinking again. This time not because of a new thought. A wave of dizziness hit her, it made her slightly nauseous. She stumbled and was forced to stop her pacing. She shook her head, not unlike a puppy trying to get rid of water around its fur. That was not a good idea, she thought as another bout of nausea came again because of the action.</p><p> </p><p>A few moments later, the bouts of nausea finally passed. Honoka found herself sitting on the ground with Mama hovering over her with a worried expression.</p><p> </p><p>“No-chan... Are you okay? I came as soon as I heard you stumble!”</p><p> </p><p>Honoka winced at that. Mama just stopped looking tired and a little sick these few days, she didn’t want her to be like that again. She shook her head carefully as she tried to reassure Mama.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-huh! I’m okay! Sorry Mama I was just not careful!”</p><p> </p><p>“If you say so... Then, just to be sure, why don’t you take a nap now? You are still a little sick. I’ll wake you up when Tsu-kun comes home!”</p><p> </p><p>“Ehh... It’s okay! I ca—“</p><p> </p><p>“Nope! Mama’s order! Let's go! Nappie time for the princess!”</p><p> </p><p>“Bu—W-wah”</p><p> </p><p>Honoka was forced to cut off her refusal with a yelp when Mama suddenly picked her up by the armpits. She considered trying to say more but decided against it. Tsu-nii had gotten his stubbornness from Mama after all. Trying anymore would be as futile as... like that proverb “When Pigs Fly”, from the woman’s memory.</p><p> </p><p>No rules against pouting though.</p><p> </p><p>She wanted to try her magical fire power.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘But maybe nap time first’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She thought with a yawn.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 'It's not like I can actually become like Sailor Moon.' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Honoka was not <em>that </em>stupid.</p><p> </p><p>Things like that don't actually exist.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Whats with me and making Honoka sleep... BTW! You guys might wonder why Honoka seems VERY childish despite remembering her past life, but that would be explained bits by bits on each chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Children being children, butterflies, and a glimpse of mother's thought. Might not be in that order.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Every time she sleeps, no matter if it was night or day, she dreams snippets of the woman’s life. She will sit in front of a TV and spends time watching it.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>As if it was only a TV show.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Why must she dream about it? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She rather has her own dream. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The show doesn’t really tell her other things aside from the woman. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t care, nor does she want to care about the woman. The things that were shown, don’t really matter that much to her aside from some random knowledge that the woman actually remembers.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Really.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Why must she dream about a dead woman?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Honoka blearily woke up to the sound of the front door opening, a tinkling sound of bells accompanying it. It was Papa’s present from... two years ago maybe? When he came visiting. She didn’t remember much but she did vaguely remember an elderly that came back with him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Also presents.’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She thought absentmindedly. The presents were important. Papa always came and go, even if he did stay it was just for a few weeks. He was mostly gone than not. Papa had always brought back lots and looots of present though. So she would only ignore him for the first few days.</p><p> </p><p>That wind bell chime is one of Mama’s favorite. So she remembers it. She also liked it because the sound of bells chiming each time anyone opens the doors was so beautiful. That few days, it was also working as an alarm clock for her. Mama told her to take a few more days off to rest.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Just in case, No-chan! You don’t want the fever to come back right?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Well, she could play and take naps instead of studying at school, so it was fine. Tsu-nii had to go and well. They are not in the same grade so it's not like it mattered <em>that</em> much. She deliberately took her nap in the living room though. So when the bell chimes, it meant that Tsu-nii was home.</p><p> </p><p>Scrambling off the futon in hurry to greet her brother she almost tripped a few times. Once over the comforter, the other over some toys lying around.</p><p> </p><p>“Tsu-nii!”</p><p> </p><p>Honoka called out cheerfully as she reached the front door. She spotted her brother taking off his shoes as he beamed up at her.</p><p> </p><p>“No-chan!”</p><p> </p><p>He echoed her as he finally took off his shoes, he skipped, more running than not, toward her. But then, he did the most ‘Tsu-nii’ thing that he could have done without, just as Mama’s voice was heard.</p><p> </p><p>“Tsu-kun~ Okaeri!”</p><p> </p><p>He tripped over his own feet.</p><p> </p><p>Mama poked her head out from the kitchen and ended up witnessing Tsu-nii tripping over his own feet. At first, he didn’t fall. He managed to hop around on one foot in hope to regain his balance.</p><p> </p><p>But he hopped forward, towards <em>her</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“HIEEEeeeeeEEEee!!”</p><p> </p><p>“Wh—whaaaAAAaaa!!”</p><p> </p><p>“Aah! Tsu-kun! No-chan!!”</p><p> </p><p>Thus bringing them both down. She groaned out loud, feeling irritated at his chronic disease of clumsiness. Sure, this time he actually managed to try to get back his balance but the results ended up worse. Mostly to her than him, with her being his human cushion.</p><p> </p><p>“Tsuuu-niiiiiii~!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hieeeeee!! S-sorry No-chan...”, he replied, not without shouting his infamous ‘Hie’ <em>right beside her ear first</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Mouu!! Tsu-kun! You have to be more careful!”, she heard Mama said as the voice get louder as she rushed toward them. She picked them up one by one while lecturing her brother.</p><p> </p><p>“Tsu-kun... What should I do with you? You can’t keep tripping over anything and everything! One day, you can get badly hurt—“</p><p> </p><p>Tsu-nii visibly winced at the impromptu lecture and wilted. He peeked through his eyelashes to seek her eyes. He mouthed sorry with an apologetic expression while smiling a little at her.</p><p> </p><p>She knew that he didn’t do it purposely, <em>sometimes she hopes he is though, tripping around like that makes him a literal safety hazard for him and his surrounding,</em> but she did have a small grudge.</p><p> </p><p>So, she glared at him with a pout. Making eyes that practically screamed vengeance.</p><p> </p><p>Tsu-nii froze at that look, letting out a nervous laugh.</p><p> </p><p>She won't let him off easily.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After Mama finished lecturing Tsu-nii, she proceeded to check if they got any injury. When she found none, she told them to go play while she did her work.</p><p> </p><p>Honoka found herself sitting on the porch ignoring her brother.</p><p> </p><p>“Noooo-chaaan! Look! there is a butterfly! The colors are different than usual y’know!”</p><p> </p><p>Nope. She was not going to be baited by something as mundane as a <em>butterfly</em>. It's just an insect. Not like the usual icky and gross looking one, but still an insect.</p><p> </p><p>“Nee, nee No-chan! I learned something new today! Apparently a butterfly is an adult worm!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Twitch.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>What. That wriggling disgusting creature is a baby butterfly? But they look so different! Butterfly has so many colors and wings, some even looked like a fairy! How could a mere wo—</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Argh! No! Nope!! You’re not going to be pacified by a conversation about a worm that is actually a baby butterfly. Get your priorities straight Sawada Honoka! You can’t let yourself be beaten by a worm. A disgusting creature like wo—‘</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“And butterflies can make flowers!”</p><p> </p><p>She whipped her head around to stare at Tsu-nii with an expression full of disbelief. Because, what?</p><p> </p><p>“Butterfly can make flowers? Like- like magic? How do they do that? Is that why they are always around the plants? Because they are using magic and had been making flowers?”</p><p> </p><p>Honoka ended up blurting out a series of questions. Because butterflies have been making pretty flowers? Are they actually fairies then? She regained control of herself when she saw Tsu-nii looking at her with a glint in his eyes. Agh! She ended up losing! Nope, gonna ignore him again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah! You see! They keep fluttering around the flowers right? When they touched the flo—“</p><p> </p><p>After she finds out the mysteries of butterflies is actually fairies</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Nana had just finished washing the dishes when she entered the living room. Her children, Honoka to be exact, had started The Silent War. Yes. All with capitals because No-chan had always been a vindictive child. Her little girl just <em>loved </em>to do it to the men of the Sawada family. Either when she wanted something but couldn’t or that they crossed her somehow.</p><p> </p><p>Honoka always starts the war and she almost always ended it too. The war mostly ended with Tsu-kun losing by running to her in tears saying,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Mama! What should I do?? No-chan won’t talk to me! What if she will never talk to me anymore??”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sometimes Tsu-kun would win and they would get along again, but it was rare. It can't even be called a proper win when it was because No-chan loved him too much and took pity on him by giving up.</p><p> </p><p>Her husband wasn’t that lucky though. No-chan could ignore Tsu-kun for only a day or three before she finally cracks. But for Mitsu-kun? It once actually lasted for a <em>week. </em>He would spend days looking at No-chan with a big sad teary puppy eyes that really shouldn’t be on an adult man’s face. Especially him, because as much as she loves her husband that she could forgive him for many things such as the things he did when he was still in school, puppy eyes are just not his thing. His face is way to gruff for it.</p><p> </p><p>Nana actually thought that if Mitsu-kun had not brought any presents home... Honoka might just ignore him for his entire visit, ignoring her own feeling of wanting to have a father and daughter time just because she knew that he would be just as affected or maybe worse.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, she was half convinced that the same would happen this time. Nana thought that it would be better to end the war sooner than later. So, when she stepped into the living room and heard Tsu-kun...</p><p> </p><p>“Nee, nee No-chan! I learned something new today! Apparently a butterfly is an adult worm!”</p><p> </p><p>She ended up being shocked for a few reasons.</p><p> </p><p>‘Oh my...’</p><p> </p><p>Tsu-kun actually learned something in school! She had been worried when he barely passed his first-grade exam. Nana tried to teach him herself but juggling with her household work and two children were surprisingly harder than she thought. Especially with how No-chan had always been a little sickly with her premature birth.</p><p> </p><p>Even when she tried teaching him, Tsu-kun didn’t seem to understand it too. At first, she thought that maybe it was the teachers that couldn’t teach well enough with so many rowdy children in one class. She herself had hard time with two children.</p><p> </p><p>She was irritated by it because there were also cases where some teachers that like to bootlick other parents that were wealthy or famous by paying extra attention to their children. The other children with normal parents ended up somewhat neglected. Suzuki-san always complained about it when they sometimes met in the market.</p><p> </p><p>Nana believed that Tsu-kun was experiencing the same thing. He had been such a bright child in kindergarten and on the start of grade school. There was no way that he would just suddenly drop!</p><p> </p><p>She had no choice but to let it go though. Because there were really no way to deal with these kinds of things. So, she thought to teach Tsu-kun herself. But when she tried teaching Tsu-kun herself... it turned out that he really had a hard time even with simple things like first-grade addition, subtraction, simple multiplication in mathematics, or memorizing. She was more worried and tried a few more times with different approaches. Yet, it didn’t work.</p><p> </p><p>Nana even considered getting a course for Tsu-kun. She didn’t want to, because she knew that Tsu-kun loves spending time with No-chan every time he has, especially since he and this year No-chan entered grade school. Their time together was already cut short compared to the time when they were both still in kindergarten. She didn’t plan on becoming something like, oh god forbid <em>Monster Parents</em>, but this kind of thing, if let be could be detrimental in the long run.</p><p> </p><p>It seemed that Tsu-kun was improving a little though.</p><p> </p><p>Sure, it should be caterpillar instead of worm but small steps as they say!</p><p> </p><p>“And butterfly can make flowers!”</p><p> </p><p>‘Make flo—‘</p><p> </p><p>She had to physically force herself from laughing at that. While technically they <em>are </em>making flowers, butterflies <em>help</em> not <em>make</em>. Oh, how cute her children are!</p><p> </p><p>“Butterfly can make flowers? Like- like magic? How do they do that? Is that why they are always around the plants? Because they were actually using magic and had been making flowers?”</p><p> </p><p>Oooh!! And it seemed to be working on No-chan! Nana leaned herself against the wall. She had to press a hand against her mouth a little harder to keep herself from suddenly cooing or laughing at her children.</p><p> </p><p>Tsu-kun kneeled beside No-chan one the porch while she was sitting with her legs kicking back and forth<em>( She should lecture her on not to that, its not a good a habit after all ). </em>No-chan was staring at her brother with a confused, full of disbelief expression while asking questions after question.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah! You see! They keep fluttering around the flowers right? When they touched the flower, there is something on the flowers! It's all powdery! Come one! Let's get closer to the flowers, Tsu-kun show you!“</p><p> </p><p>Nana felt really proud of her son. He actually managed to end The Silent War within minutes after it started! She thought that she would have to help him.</p><p> </p><p>It seemed that she had nothing to worry about after all! Her husband was such a pushover, she thought that Tsu-kun might just be the same with how he was pushed over by her sister all the time.</p><p> </p><p>‘Ah... Is this what parents feel when their children grow up? They grew out so fast!’</p><p> </p><p>She hummed cheerily as she turned to the bathroom, thinking of doing some laundry.</p><p> </p><p>Come to thinks of it, didn’t Mitsu-kun said that he would come home soon again? He sounded pretty serious like that time he came back in a hurry when he heard that No-chan was sick again. Sadly he couldn’t stay long. He didn’t want to leave but it seemed that something had happened about his work. No-chan’s fever was pretty bad, usually, it won’t last that long or would it be that high.</p><p> </p><p>Nana almost worried her self sick as she fretted over No-chan.</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully, this time, Mitsu-kun will be coming back for something happy. Besides! She hadn’t told No-chan that her father had immediately came back right the next day when she was sick, maybe this time the war would last only for... maybe three days?</p><p> </p><p>No-chan always seemed more cheerful and healthy when her father is around, despite him getting her ire for some reason.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Tsunayoshi winced.</p><p> </p><p>Startled, he peeked at No-chan from the corner of his eyes, finding that she was still busy looking at the butterfly with a serious expression. He let out a quiet sigh of relief before he let out a small giggle.</p><p> </p><p>‘Ehehe! No-chan is really cute!'</p><p> </p><p>He thought as he pulled his shorts a little lower. Hiding the bruises there. Mama thankfully didn’t find it, he was a little freaked out when she tried to check him for any injuries. He had not meant to trip and fall on No-chan.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>A flicker of warmth—</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“No-ch—Honoka!! What's wrong!? Ar—are you—Mama! MAMA!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Tsu-kun? Why are you yell—Honoka-chan!!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Mama! N—No-chan just fell over an—and—“</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Its okay, Tsu-kun! Everything will be fine! So calm do—“</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>—before it was once again cold.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He didn't want them to worry about him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>( The lion twitched in its cage.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It opened one of its eyes slowly.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It let out a long purr as if it was pleased.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>More cracks around its cage.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Eyes closing, it returned to its slumber. )</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Because different worlds with waves it may be, Nana is still a happy go lucky that can bounce back from almost everything.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Honoka thought that she was 'normal' but really, she was not.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Fortunately, she doesn’t always dream of the woman.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She hates the woman’s life.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She lived her life faking. The smile, laugh, tears, were all controlled as if it was only an act. She didn’t care about anything at all.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>The fact that the memories that were shown, blurs, have no sound nor colors like a retro movie just backed it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>The woman really has nothing to feel for her life.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She didn’t even deign to remember it properly.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her life is so boring.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Calling it a ‘life’ even feels like an overestimation.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Glitching.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Soundless.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Colorless.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Even until her last moments...</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>It's like the woman didn’t even have any will to live.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka sighed lightly against her table. After a week and a half of leave, she was finally forced to return to the hell equivalent for children. The horrid place where they were tormented by being placed in a prison, being forced to study. It was only her first week, tomorrow was weekend and she <em>couldn’t wait for it.</em></p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>If school <em>was</em> actually fun or have something, <em>anything </em>interesting then she might not be like this. Honoka looked at her classmates. They all have their own group and she alone didn’t.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>It was not that Honoka didn’t have friends. She had plenty of friends. Any of the group would let her join in without much hassle. She could fit in easily. But Honoka didn’t have any close friends! Yet!</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka was not a loner! She had a lot of friends and was not disliked too. But she didn’t have anyone like a best friend and that was not through the lack of trying. Oh, she <em>tried, </em>the problem was not entirely her, it was just that no one actually clicked with her.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The girls, they have similar hobbies. Honoka liked pretty things too, <em>although she doesn’t only like frills but also other kinds</em>, they had things to talk about. They would also talk about Sailor Moon or maybe Pripara. About how beautiful they were, how cute, how amazing, and how they wish they could do something like that.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>But, they were as she said, <em>girls</em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Which was weird. They acted more like a jealous teenager than the first-grader they should be. While she and they have a middle ground, the one thing that was really different between them was, boys. To be precise, it was the way they liked boys.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She shuddered slightly. It was not that she hated the boys, its that she hated the part of how her fellow girls would moon over them! Like, ‘Dai-kun is so handsome! Kyaaaa!’ or maybe ‘Nee, nee! Did you see that?! Kyoya-senpai is so cool!’.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Like, borrowing what Nakamura-sensei said<em>, ‘What the fuck?’</em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Before the memories, it only discomforted her, but <em>after</em> the memories? It was downright <em>borderline disgusting her.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Why in the world are <em>first-graders, six years old that were just barely past toddler</em>, do that? At first, she really didn’t understand why do they like to <em>like </em>boys?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Mama had explained to her and said that childhood crushes were normal. After she heard that, she thought, <em>oh okay then, </em>but do they <em>have </em>to scream it out when their <em>crushes were less than three meters away!?</em> Have they no shame!? It was one thing if the crushes were let's say, idols or boybands like that, but they meet every day and they do that?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>How do they look at their ‘crushes’ in their face after doing that?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>And the jealous part. There were various best friends that broke their relation, for example, the most recent one, because apparently,</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“How could you Sumire-chan!? I liked Dai-kun!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I liked him too! Tomoko-chan was the one who ruined it!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Dai-kun is <strong>my</strong> future husband, so you can’t!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No! Dai-kun is <strong>mine</strong>!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Then, it progressed to an even louder screaming match, hairpulling and crying –<em>and its children, if one cry the others would follow</em>— before, in the end, Nakamura-sensei had to–<em>Waste my rest because of these little sh—I mean children, Sawada forget that wor— </em>intervene<em>.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Poor Dai-kun, he looked so confused and was probably traumatized for being the unwilling reason for the screaming match. The crushes were normal but she was not entirely sure that was normal. Honoka didn't even do anything <em>close </em>to that.<br/></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Honoka herself had one after all after Mama explained that it was normal to crush on someone. She had a crush and no one saw her do anything like that. Although she was going to ‘bring it to grave’ because it was really <em>embarrassing</em>. She couldn’t even do anything but just watched her crush in silence when she first met him. It was a really awkward moment of her very short life that she would rather forget about. But albeit, memories don’t work like that do they?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Anyway, most of the girls in her grade was for some reason were like that. Sure there were others, for example like Kimi-chan that was certainly not like <em>that </em>and was more the silent type.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>But Kimi-chan was practically a <em>bibliophile</em>. She was always with her books and would look at anything and everything with a ‘beneath her foot’ expression<em>( Is it just her or should children really be like this?? )</em>. Honoka kinda liked her. Kimi-chan was always honest and won’t cry over the simplest things and won’t crush over boys. Probably.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka preferred to steer clear of her way though. Because while she wanted to be closer than just classmates—<em>she was pretty sure Kimi-chan only saw her like that or maybe even lower—, </em>Kimi-chan was a really scary person. Honoka was sure if she crossed Kimi-chan’s line just <em>once </em>and Kimi-chan would smile her razor-sharp smile and made Honoka regret the day very she was born. The Blazing Inferno Incident, named by Dai-kun was still fresh in her mind.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>So Honoka would get closer to Kimi-chan <em>slowly </em>step by step.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>There was also Nozomi-chan that preferred to play with the boys more, but Honoka didn’t like her. Kimi-chan while she looked down on others, would try to respect them first before she decides whether that person was worthless or not <em>( Honoka was pretty sure she was in the Not Worthless But Still Beneath category )</em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Nozomi-chan? She would point blank say <em>‘Hahh? Ew, disgusting! Well, I don’t like it so don’t talk about that to me or I won’t be your friend’ </em>to her.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Which really happened to Honoka when she said she liked to gather ribbons. Rude much?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>For the girls, her only hope was still only Kimi-chan. But she was still a <em>target</em>. She wanted to have a close friend!</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>And the boys...</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>That one was somehow <em>worse.</em> Because it was not exactly their fault. For them, the jealousy part plays again. It was similar to the Tomoko-Sumire Alliance Ending, again named by Dai-kun. And it was worse because you know why?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>‘I don’t care if you like him or not! I like him so you can’t be friends with him!’</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka thought that it was self-explanatory enough so she won’t elaborate on it. That was enough for her to hesitate with getting friends from the boys. Sure they didn’t like all of them, but sadly? The girls crushed on the boys that Honoka won’t mind being friends with. The one they won’t crush on was the bullies. Which she would rather do what she was sure Kimi-chan would do, and rather ‘step on them’. The girls have a weirdly high standard despite being like...<em>that.</em></p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka liked risks because what is life without some of that? She particularly <em>enjoyed </em>the chaotic things that happened in her class, caused by Kimi-chan and named by Dai-kun as long she wasn’t the victim. Honoka would even <em>gladly</em> help Kimi-chan, once she deemed her good enough to help. But Honoka rather not be the other half of a screaming match.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The screaming match was <em>not </em>fun.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka liked Kimi-chan’s pranks, or to be exact, <em>revenge</em> because they were fun and chaotic. If only Kimi-chan would let her be her friend soon, then school would definitely be more interesting. <br/></p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Of course, again there were other boys. But for some reason that really eluded her, they <em>always </em>just stare at her silent and slowly get red. Honoka tried asking Nakamura-sensei <em>why </em>but sensei only cackled and said, <em>'Oh god, never change Sawada, watching how you act is one of the few things that really made my day'.</em> Like that was not creepy and unnerving.<br/></p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She sighed.<br/></p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>School was already kinda boring with few exceptions of Kimi-chan antics before the memories, but after, it was boring her even <em>more </em>now that studies were easy. There were no challenges anymore. Not to mention <em>after </em>school. She would play with Tsu-nii but, watching animals and playing kiddy toys were getting old.<br/></p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka sighed again, this time loudly which she regretted immediately. Kimi-chan was sitting next to her reading on <em>Poisonous Plants You Can Find In <strong>Namimori</strong></em>. She stiffly tilted her head to the side.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She found Kimi-chan ignoring her and was just reading.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Which relieved her and she carefully let out a silent breath. Honoka looked at her own book she picked in the library. She was reading about The Flower Language, <em>Hanakotoba</em>. One of her plans to interact with Kimi-chan. She was sneaky on this, she knew, but she had a feeling that Kimi-chan knew anyway. But chose to let it be, because Kimi-chan was, again, a bibliophile and someone who respected people that actually read books.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka while preferring activity, appreciate books, so it was for her too. She flipped open a page and found a chapter about the chrysanthemum flower, <em>Kiku</em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She blinked at it. The color kinda reminded her of—</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka frowned. Did it remind her of something?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Of... what?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Something golden?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>That was accompanied with...</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She was starting to feel a little dizzy.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The flower reminded her of...?</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“—Noka-chan?”</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka flinched harshly. Her head snapped towards Kimi-chan who was looking at her with a blank expression, it was her default expression but it gave off a feeling that told Honoka she was confused. Not worried, because their relationship was sadly not that far yet.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“Y—yea?”</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Ah. This time she actually frowned. At least according to default Kimi-chan’s expression, a <em>little </em>furrow like that was practically a frown.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“You were frowning at the book. Was it bad?” A light smile</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh no</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>When Kimi-chan asked things, it was more of a statement than not. And when she really <em>asked</em> her whether the book was bad not, she was actually asking,</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Was my choice bad?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>It was actually her threatening Honoka. Which was <em>bad, </em>offended Kimi-chan was followed with an <em>angry </em>Kimi-chan which meant a <em>‘Come here you little shit’, </em>Kimi-chan in Nakamura-sensei language.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“No! NO! I was just thinking about something! Uhh just thought where I can found chrysanthemum? It means –<em>A peek</em>— Joy, right? So I just wondered whether I can buy one for Mama!”</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She ended up spending the next few minutes bluffing at Kimi-chan. <em>Thankfully</em>, she seemed to succeed.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Honoka huffed slightly.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Come to think of it, what was she thinking about?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She thought about it for a second before giving up and returned to her book.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>It probably was not that important.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Flower languages were surprisingly interesting. Despite the book she was reading is written for children. She was not like Kimi-chan who was really amazing that she could read higher lever books that used harder Kanji.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She paused as a thought came into her mind. She thought about it for a second before deciding.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes</em>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span></span>
</p>
<p>A wide smile stretched over her face.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>( Kimi glanced at Honoka-chan and find that she was smiling. A wickedly sweet she might add. She raised her brows in surprise, it was the first time she saw Honoka-chan smile like that.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She just shrugged the surprise off though. It was none of her business. As long as Honoka-chan won’t bother her, Kimi would do the same. )</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Why should Honoka wait for the fun to come?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>If possible, her smile stretched even more that it was starting to strain her facial muscle.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>She should just <em>find them.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>It was only through sheer will and a barely enough self-preservation <em>( only for Kimi-chan )</em> that Honoka didn’t cackle out loud.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And this is my first attempt at KHR fanfic! How was it? Please tell me your thoughts.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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